Hello there! It is 1:48 my time, and I am absolutely going nuts. So I decided to post; and vent a bit!
Well, as everyone knows, Turtle is in a-school, and is working his little sailor butt off to phase up and do well in class and balance everything. I have been completely understanding, even though at times I’ve wanted to pull my hair out from complete lack of communication. The ladies I share this blog with, would totally understand where I am coming from, seeing as we just came off boot camp. But some people don’t get that this lifestyle isn’t just hard on the military part of the relationship. I think I would go crazy without Ollie. To have someone going through the same thing, on my side, but different experiences. Plus. she has a trillion family members in the force.
Anyway, as of Thursday (the 9th) I have not heard from Turtle, at all. No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook, no email, no smoke signals, no crow with a letter. No nothing. It is driving me crazy, because until yesterday (the 12th) I had no idea what was going on! Just complete silence from him. And it scared me to death.
It’s always a struggle to admit self fears, but I fear for my relationship with this distance. I mean, we have done distance before. 75% of our relationship was distance. But this is different. After living together a year, everything has change. Probably because I know what I missing. Probably because I’m staying with his parents, in his room. Everyday, I am surrounded by him. And he is surrounded by other dudes. It’s not fair on my part, at sometimes. Well, I think it, but then take it back, because I chose to do this. I chose to give up a totally different life for this one. And its not that I dont regret it, but that is a totally different story.
What I fear is.. him finding someone else. And loving them more. Wow.. that was a lot harder to write than I can express. But, its the truth. I’m scared he will find some pretty, tan, beach babe, and forget about his Midwest wife. That he will want something new.
I talked about this with him, and he says I’m ridiculous, but I don’t think so. But I don’t talk about it anymore. Anyhow; That why this silence scared me, so I reached out to my Navy sisters, Ollie and Hut. Ollie’s sailor isn’t on the same base, but Hut’s is. And on the same night me and Ollie decided to post a missing post on Turtles Facebook, I hear from Hut, who told me that he was on restriction for two weeks, and will you guess the reason?
Of all the things.. I shake my head, guys, cuz this is just crazy! Needless to say, I am unhappy, angry even. I miss him so much, and I tell him that. And its just..